I Can't Tell You

6/17/08

You don't know me anymore

Once, i was who you thought

but no longer

not after this, this thing

that i can't tell you

unless it's late

and we watch chick flicks

and eat gummi worms

and you promise not to laugh or tell

but we can't get together

and so i tell my computer and watch chick flicks and eat gummi worms in my room

while you swim and laugh and have fun and hang out across town

i hate growing up

hate not being able to have sleepovers when i want

i hate having a job and not being able to connect with you

i hate PMSing and loneliness and not being able to banish this feeling

my soul needs healing

healing from the depression

healing from these thoughts

healing from this, this feeling of being alone and disconnected

but my heart won't do what i want it to

so i sit and cry, alone with my music you never heard

and my journal at my side; my best friend now