You know those days when everything goes wrong, and you don't get anything done that you planned to, and you spend your time in useless, wasteful ways? Well, that's been my week, basically. And it's all so frustrating! Just... yeah. I was reading this book on fasting and it talked about how when you start cutting harmless pleasures out of your life because you are dependent on (you worship) them instead of God, there is a gap between giving them up, and when God meets your needs and desires that you have been fulfilling with harmless pleasures. And so sometimes you go back to the harmless pleasures, and you find that they no longer fulfill whatever it is inside of you that was once dependent on them. And so you are stuck somewhere in the middle, entirely dependent on God. So that's kind of where I am right now. And oh-my-word is it frustrating. I never knew that trusting God and being dependent on Him would be frustrating, but now that I think about it, it makes perfect sense, as it entails actively frustrating all of my plans and attempts at living my life on my own.
And I guess that I'm discouraged right now. Actually, I'm probably more disappointed in myself that discouraged. But it's like, I am unable to do all of the little things that I expect of myself, so how in the world am I going to do the big things? And the answer is that all things are possible through Christ, but it is so hard to translate that into everyday living, you know?
That isn't to say that this past week didn't have amazing God moments, because that is a patent falsehood. I fasted on Tuesday, which was good, and I think that I'm going to make it a regular thing. It was like, oh this hungry feeling is strangely familiar; I know how to live my life ignoring my stomach, thanks to last spring when I was stress-not-eating. And it made me realize just how much of last spring's mental fogginess was due to the fact that I was not eating properly, which was a huge part of the whole situation.
On Thursday at Connect, my Team leader was talking about listening to God, and hearing his voice, which was so encouraging to me. I often feel like the listening to God/following the Holy Spirit aspects of my faith are minimized in favor of doing ministry and reaching out to others and sharing the gospel with them at my church here at school. And so when Mikey talks about the Holy Spirit, or listening to God and being open to his voice, it blesses me. Especially because I'm not entirely sure the backgrounds of all of my friends at Team, and I don't know where they fall on the Charismatic scale, and I'm afraid that they would look at me like I'm a freak because I speak in tongues sometimes (actually, it's becoming something of a regular occurrence), etc. Oh look, fear again. And typing this out, I'm realizing how kind of stupid it sounds. But it's still something I need to work through.
And then, afterwards we went ice skating, and on Friday I played in the snow and then went to tea with some friends from my dorm, people whom I've spent many meals talking to, but not done much else with. But now we're actually friends, which is awesome. They're all freshmen, and they're all Christians, on the non-Charismatic end of the scale (Catholic, Presbyterian, Romanian Baptist, etc), and I think that for all of them, their faith is really important to them, which is encouraging to me.
Friday evening I had a share-your-life-story-and-deepest-darkest-secrets night with one of my good friends here at school (whom I've known for two and a half years, but we've never gotten around to having that conversation, probably because as much as we love each other, we push each other's buttons on a regular basis, because we are very similar in many, many ways, a fact that stood out clearly in our conversation).
There's more, but I don't think that I'm ready to talk about it yet. I need more time to think, and put words to the thoughts inside of me. The gist of it, though, is that God is good. :)
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Of Prayer and Redemption
Wow. It's already been a week. Crazyness. It's been a full week, with class and my long(ish) list of Things To Do This (And Every) Week. And overall, it's been a good week. I've been happy. Which, if you didn't know, is something that I was for a very long constant period growing up, even if sometimes I was very lonely and sad, I was primarily happy for 18 years of my life. And then I went to college, and things were hard, and for the past two and a half years, my primary emotion has probably been fear and confusion and stress. Which has not been very fun, not at all. But I've been consistently happy for a month or so now. Which is so very nice.
I've been doing my Bible reading consistently (Woo!), and got something pretty rich out of it this week. I was going through Leviticus and Numbers and Deuteronomy and in one of them God kept giving all of these rules about the redemption of clean and unclean animals, the redemption of land, and redemption of people. And I was just struck with a deeper/new understanding of just what Jesus did for us. People, when they went into debt, would sometimes sell themselves and become like, indentured servants. They (or their kinsman-redeemer) could redeem themselves by paying their master the money that they sold themselves for. And like, Jesus is our redeemer. He pays for the debts we have incurred and cannot pay, because we don't have the currency. And the firstborn of every clean animal either had to be redeemed by paying a certain sum or by substituting a different kind of animal for sacrifice, or it had to be sacrificed to God, because they were his by right, because he killed all the of the firstborns of Egypt, but spared those of Israel. And Jesus kind of redeemed us in that way as well, because he shed his blood for us, and so redeemed our lives, setting us apart. I don't know if that all makes sense, or even if it's all factually accurate (I don't really want to go back and check as it's a little tedious.) but it's just been impacting me more and more how much Jesus has done for us. Like woah.
Now, prayer. So we're currently in the 40 days of Prayer that PrayUM does every year leading up to the International Day of Prayer (I think that's what it is). And on Friday was the kickoff, which was great. So much of His presence and Spirit was in the church, and I had a really great prayer session with a complete stranger. And then Ria and I went and opened the Prayer Room. I'm planning on spending a decent chunk of time there over the next 38 days, praying, worshipping, journalling, and soaking. I'm also planning on doing at least one 24 hour session in early February. I was in there yesterday, and it was good to just spend time with God, moving around the room and praying out loud for whatever came into my head. It's just... I want to know Him more. I want to want him more. I long for greater Longing. Because I'm gaining a deeper and deeper understanding of how much I need him, and how he is everything I need, and is actually everything that fulfills my deepest desires. My deepest desires match up with who He is. Which is really easy to say and really hard to internalize and know. But as I am understanding it, it's blowing my mind.
I've been doing my Bible reading consistently (Woo!), and got something pretty rich out of it this week. I was going through Leviticus and Numbers and Deuteronomy and in one of them God kept giving all of these rules about the redemption of clean and unclean animals, the redemption of land, and redemption of people. And I was just struck with a deeper/new understanding of just what Jesus did for us. People, when they went into debt, would sometimes sell themselves and become like, indentured servants. They (or their kinsman-redeemer) could redeem themselves by paying their master the money that they sold themselves for. And like, Jesus is our redeemer. He pays for the debts we have incurred and cannot pay, because we don't have the currency. And the firstborn of every clean animal either had to be redeemed by paying a certain sum or by substituting a different kind of animal for sacrifice, or it had to be sacrificed to God, because they were his by right, because he killed all the of the firstborns of Egypt, but spared those of Israel. And Jesus kind of redeemed us in that way as well, because he shed his blood for us, and so redeemed our lives, setting us apart. I don't know if that all makes sense, or even if it's all factually accurate (I don't really want to go back and check as it's a little tedious.) but it's just been impacting me more and more how much Jesus has done for us. Like woah.
Now, prayer. So we're currently in the 40 days of Prayer that PrayUM does every year leading up to the International Day of Prayer (I think that's what it is). And on Friday was the kickoff, which was great. So much of His presence and Spirit was in the church, and I had a really great prayer session with a complete stranger. And then Ria and I went and opened the Prayer Room. I'm planning on spending a decent chunk of time there over the next 38 days, praying, worshipping, journalling, and soaking. I'm also planning on doing at least one 24 hour session in early February. I was in there yesterday, and it was good to just spend time with God, moving around the room and praying out loud for whatever came into my head. It's just... I want to know Him more. I want to want him more. I long for greater Longing. Because I'm gaining a deeper and deeper understanding of how much I need him, and how he is everything I need, and is actually everything that fulfills my deepest desires. My deepest desires match up with who He is. Which is really easy to say and really hard to internalize and know. But as I am understanding it, it's blowing my mind.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
On Dragons and assorted subjects
One of the parts that has always stuck with me from The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (not my favorite Narnia book) was the scene in which Eustace gets un-dragoned, if you know what I mean. The picture of Aslan digging his claws into Eustace's dragon skin and peeling it away was so interesting and vivid to me. If you are unfamiliar with what I am talking about, here is the relevant excerpt:
“Well, anyway, I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming slowly towards me. And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was. So it came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough. But it wasn't that kind of fear. I wasn't afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it - if you can understand. Well, it came close up to me and looked straight into my eyes. And I shut my eyes tight. But that wasn't any good because it told me to follow it.”
“You mean it spoke?”
“I don't know. Now that you mention it, I don't think it did. But it told me all the same. And I knew I'd have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it. And it led me a long way into the mountains. And there was always this moonlight over and round the lion wherever we went. So at last we came to the top of a mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden - trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it there was a well.
“I knew it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells - like a very big, round bath with marble steps going down into it. The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I don't know if he said any words out loud or not.
“I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.
“But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.
“Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.
“Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke – ‘You will have to let me undress you.’ I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.
“The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” said Edmund.
“Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phoney if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them.
“After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me –“
“Dressed you. With his paws?”
“Well, I don't exactly remember that bit. But he did somehow or other: in new clothes - the same I've got on now, as a matter of fact. And then suddenly I was back here. Which is what makes me think it must have been a dream.”
“No. It wasn't a dream,” said Edmund.
“Why not?”
“Well, there are the clothes, for one thing. And you have been - well, un-dragoned, for another.”
“What do you think it was, then?” asked Eustace.
“I think you've seen Aslan,” said Edmund.
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – Chapter 7
I feel like this a very clear picture of what God is doing in my life right now, and has been doing for a while. I've been carefully and slowly peeling my dragon-hide away layer by layer, and getting impatient with how little progress I've been making. And now God has started digging in his claws and pulling that skin off and oh does it hurt, but it feels so good at the same time.
On a slightly different note, let's talk about this past week. I've come back to school (which is going fine, blah blah blah) and am excited about this semester! It's going to be so good! I've kept up with my books and movies fast (kind of... more on that later) and it's just so good to be back with some of these people whom I love (not that I don't love everyone back home, it's just... different. It's a different feel to it. Equally good, but different.).
I've been having some soaking/prayer/conversation with God time (it kind of starts off as one or the other and morphs through all three before it ends) multiple times this week which has been good and beautiful. Mmmm... His presence is... Good. What an inadequate word. But I cannot think of any that work better. He is good.
And I've been doing the 90 day Bible read through plan, which has been interesting and kind of fun. Every time I read the Old Testament, I have these WTF? moments which are hilarious. Oh the shenanigans that happened way back then... I have been getting good things out of it, in addition to laughter. Tonight, for example, I was reading through Exodus and the descriptions of the Tabernacle, and I realized that it says specifically that the Holy Spirit came upon some dude whose name I don't remember and blessed him with creativity in order to craft the Tabernacle tent. You never read creativity for the crafting of beautiful objects in the list of spiritual gifts in the New Testament, but it's totally something God gives people. Which I knew, but it was fun to have it explicitly spelled out in the Bible.
As for the fast thing... I am still doing it, and I haven't broken the rules I laid out for myself, but I'm bending it a little bit. I'm going to read through the Chronicles of Narnia (even though they are fiction) in addition to like, all of the other books C.S. Lewis has written (I know, it might be a bit difficult to do, but I want to do it.) Also, I'm a bit ashamed of myself for following the letter of the law and not the spirit. I spent quite a bit of time yesterday reading Lizzie Bennet Diaries fanfiction (nothing wrong with fanfiction, it's just...)... which is... (Some of it was well written, and had good plots and the characters were spot on, and others... not so much.) So that's out from now on, because otherwise I know that I'm going to be spending too much time reading it and filling my head with things that I don't need (even the completely innocent and adorable Gigi and Darcy fanfiction with no hint of romance anywhere).
On another subject, I've found a new album that I really really like. It's a concept kind of album (which means you should listen to it all the way through in the order that it's in) and it's a really good story of loss and redemption and Christian-y stuff. Also, good for fans of Mumford and Sons (it has that kind of sound to it.)
Well, this is a long enough post, so I'm going to say goodbye for now. :)
“Well, anyway, I looked up and saw the very last thing I expected: a huge lion coming slowly towards me. And one queer thing was that there was no moon last night, but there was moonlight where the lion was. So it came nearer and nearer. I was terribly afraid of it. You may think that, being a dragon, I could have knocked any lion out easily enough. But it wasn't that kind of fear. I wasn't afraid of it eating me, I was just afraid of it - if you can understand. Well, it came close up to me and looked straight into my eyes. And I shut my eyes tight. But that wasn't any good because it told me to follow it.”
“You mean it spoke?”
“I don't know. Now that you mention it, I don't think it did. But it told me all the same. And I knew I'd have to do what it told me, so I got up and followed it. And it led me a long way into the mountains. And there was always this moonlight over and round the lion wherever we went. So at last we came to the top of a mountain I'd never seen before and on the top of this mountain there was a garden - trees and fruit and everything. In the middle of it there was a well.
“I knew it was a well because you could see the water bubbling up from the bottom of it: but it was a lot bigger than most wells - like a very big, round bath with marble steps going down into it. The water was as clear as anything and I thought if I could get in there and bathe it would ease the pain in my leg. But the lion told me I must undress first. Mind you, I don't know if he said any words out loud or not.
“I was just going to say that I couldn't undress because I hadn't any clothes on when I suddenly thought that dragons are snaky sort of things and snakes can cast their skins. Oh, of course, thought I, that's what the lion means. So I started scratching myself and my scales began coming off all over the place. And then I scratched a little deeper and, instead of just scales coming off here and there, my whole skin started peeling off beautifully, like it does after an illness, or as if I was a banana. In a minute or two I just stepped out of it. I could see it lying there beside me, looking rather nasty. It was a most lovely feeling. So I started to go down into the well for my bathe.
“But just as I was going to put my feet into the water I looked down and saw that they were all hard and rough and wrinkled and scaly just as they had been before. Oh, that's all right, said I, it only means I had another smaller suit on underneath the first one, and I'll have to get out of it too. So I scratched and tore again and this underskin peeled off beautifully and out I stepped and left it lying beside the other one and went down to the well for my bathe.
“Well, exactly the same thing happened again. And I thought to myself, oh dear, how ever many skins have I got to take off? For I was longing to bathe my leg. So I scratched away for the third time and got off a third skin, just like the two others, and stepped out of it. But as soon as I looked at myself in the water I knew it had been no good.
“Then the lion said - but I don't know if it spoke – ‘You will have to let me undress you.’ I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it.
“The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. You know - if you've ever picked the scab off a sore place. It hurts like billy-oh but it is such fun to see it coming away.”
“I know exactly what you mean,” said Edmund.
“Well, he peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done it myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been. And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been. Then he caught hold of me - I didn't like that much for I was very tender underneath now that I'd no skin on - and threw me into the water. It smarted like anything but only for a moment. After that it became perfectly delicious and as soon as I started swimming and splashing I found that all the pain had gone from my arm. And then I saw why. I'd turned into a boy again. You'd think me simply phoney if I told you how I felt about my own arms. I know they've no muscle and are pretty mouldy compared with Caspian's, but I was so glad to see them.
“After a bit the lion took me out and dressed me –“
“Dressed you. With his paws?”
“Well, I don't exactly remember that bit. But he did somehow or other: in new clothes - the same I've got on now, as a matter of fact. And then suddenly I was back here. Which is what makes me think it must have been a dream.”
“No. It wasn't a dream,” said Edmund.
“Why not?”
“Well, there are the clothes, for one thing. And you have been - well, un-dragoned, for another.”
“What do you think it was, then?” asked Eustace.
“I think you've seen Aslan,” said Edmund.
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – Chapter 7
I feel like this a very clear picture of what God is doing in my life right now, and has been doing for a while. I've been carefully and slowly peeling my dragon-hide away layer by layer, and getting impatient with how little progress I've been making. And now God has started digging in his claws and pulling that skin off and oh does it hurt, but it feels so good at the same time.
On a slightly different note, let's talk about this past week. I've come back to school (which is going fine, blah blah blah) and am excited about this semester! It's going to be so good! I've kept up with my books and movies fast (kind of... more on that later) and it's just so good to be back with some of these people whom I love (not that I don't love everyone back home, it's just... different. It's a different feel to it. Equally good, but different.).
I've been having some soaking/prayer/conversation with God time (it kind of starts off as one or the other and morphs through all three before it ends) multiple times this week which has been good and beautiful. Mmmm... His presence is... Good. What an inadequate word. But I cannot think of any that work better. He is good.
And I've been doing the 90 day Bible read through plan, which has been interesting and kind of fun. Every time I read the Old Testament, I have these WTF? moments which are hilarious. Oh the shenanigans that happened way back then... I have been getting good things out of it, in addition to laughter. Tonight, for example, I was reading through Exodus and the descriptions of the Tabernacle, and I realized that it says specifically that the Holy Spirit came upon some dude whose name I don't remember and blessed him with creativity in order to craft the Tabernacle tent. You never read creativity for the crafting of beautiful objects in the list of spiritual gifts in the New Testament, but it's totally something God gives people. Which I knew, but it was fun to have it explicitly spelled out in the Bible.
As for the fast thing... I am still doing it, and I haven't broken the rules I laid out for myself, but I'm bending it a little bit. I'm going to read through the Chronicles of Narnia (even though they are fiction) in addition to like, all of the other books C.S. Lewis has written (I know, it might be a bit difficult to do, but I want to do it.) Also, I'm a bit ashamed of myself for following the letter of the law and not the spirit. I spent quite a bit of time yesterday reading Lizzie Bennet Diaries fanfiction (nothing wrong with fanfiction, it's just...)... which is... (Some of it was well written, and had good plots and the characters were spot on, and others... not so much.) So that's out from now on, because otherwise I know that I'm going to be spending too much time reading it and filling my head with things that I don't need (even the completely innocent and adorable Gigi and Darcy fanfiction with no hint of romance anywhere).
On another subject, I've found a new album that I really really like. It's a concept kind of album (which means you should listen to it all the way through in the order that it's in) and it's a really good story of loss and redemption and Christian-y stuff. Also, good for fans of Mumford and Sons (it has that kind of sound to it.)
Well, this is a long enough post, so I'm going to say goodbye for now. :)
Monday, January 7, 2013
The Holy Spirit
Well, the first full week of the new year is almost over (kind of crazy) and I figured that it might be a good idea to blog. You know, keep some sort of schedule in order to create some kind of accountability for stuff... So yeah. I'm thinking every Monday (or maybe Sunday, I haven't decided yet) that I'm going to blog specifically about what God did the preceding week in my life, probably with varying levels of vagueness and specificity, as seems appropriate to me.
So yeah! The past week has been hard in the sense that I was home and didn't have much to do and so it was hard not to read books or watch movies, but I did it (mostly by playing lots and lots of Animal Crossing on the gamecube). I listened to some sermon podcasts, which were good, and started working through some emotional healing stuff, which was also good. I've been feeling a little bit freer, which is always fantastic, but I would love to be even more free. I rung in the New Year with some pretty fantastic people, and had a really good conversation till 3am about God and personal stuff and all that with some of my friends whom I love and respect and it was so, so good.
And yesterday was really great. At church I had some really good conversations with some of my friends, and worship and the sermon were good. And then I went to Dwell last night, which was... So super and phenomenal and great. I was just blown away. The thing is that I used to be so much better at giving up control to the Holy Spirit. I used to be so much more free about entering God's Presence and just worshipping him. In recent years, I've lost some of that, but last night I made a real effort to just press past the fear and self-consciousness and just worship, just give myself to God and praise him. And oh my word, it was good. I mean, some of that is just that the Iglesia is so full of His Presence, but man, it was good. And then the word was about the Holy Spirit, and how He was going to be the focus of Dwell for 2013, and it was meaty, you know? I feel like I got so much out of last night, and though it is hard to go back to school and leave such a hotspot of His Presence, I know that I carry Him around inside of me. He is with me, and I can cultivate His Presence at school as well as at home. I am a Holy Temple.
One thing that they mentioned last night, and came up in worship was that God gives us gifts and words, that are kind of like jewels and precious stones, like we can walk around covered in these sparkly gems and give them away to other people. And the idea of God's glory came up, and we have His glory, we shine like stars. I was thinking about that, like the idea of having God's light inside of us. (Fan into flame the gifts of God...). Like I have a flame inside of me, and the more I am filled with His Spirit, the more sparkly gems I am studded with. And if you ever take a light into a grotto filled with precious stones, you know what I'm getting at. One small light creates a brilliance that is unbelievable. And we're like that! We walk around like that in the Spiritual realms! It's awesome!
So that's what the first week of my year has been. :)
So yeah! The past week has been hard in the sense that I was home and didn't have much to do and so it was hard not to read books or watch movies, but I did it (mostly by playing lots and lots of Animal Crossing on the gamecube). I listened to some sermon podcasts, which were good, and started working through some emotional healing stuff, which was also good. I've been feeling a little bit freer, which is always fantastic, but I would love to be even more free. I rung in the New Year with some pretty fantastic people, and had a really good conversation till 3am about God and personal stuff and all that with some of my friends whom I love and respect and it was so, so good.
And yesterday was really great. At church I had some really good conversations with some of my friends, and worship and the sermon were good. And then I went to Dwell last night, which was... So super and phenomenal and great. I was just blown away. The thing is that I used to be so much better at giving up control to the Holy Spirit. I used to be so much more free about entering God's Presence and just worshipping him. In recent years, I've lost some of that, but last night I made a real effort to just press past the fear and self-consciousness and just worship, just give myself to God and praise him. And oh my word, it was good. I mean, some of that is just that the Iglesia is so full of His Presence, but man, it was good. And then the word was about the Holy Spirit, and how He was going to be the focus of Dwell for 2013, and it was meaty, you know? I feel like I got so much out of last night, and though it is hard to go back to school and leave such a hotspot of His Presence, I know that I carry Him around inside of me. He is with me, and I can cultivate His Presence at school as well as at home. I am a Holy Temple.
One thing that they mentioned last night, and came up in worship was that God gives us gifts and words, that are kind of like jewels and precious stones, like we can walk around covered in these sparkly gems and give them away to other people. And the idea of God's glory came up, and we have His glory, we shine like stars. I was thinking about that, like the idea of having God's light inside of us. (Fan into flame the gifts of God...). Like I have a flame inside of me, and the more I am filled with His Spirit, the more sparkly gems I am studded with. And if you ever take a light into a grotto filled with precious stones, you know what I'm getting at. One small light creates a brilliance that is unbelievable. And we're like that! We walk around like that in the Spiritual realms! It's awesome!
So that's what the first week of my year has been. :)
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