It's been a hard week. I've been sick in bed for the past four days (I've only ventured further than the bathroom once, and that was for a *expletive* fire alarm that made my cough worse), and I heard some really bad news yesterday. And I just. I've got nothing. I've got nothing.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Monday, April 1, 2013
A Meh Post
Blog post. Right. So, this week... Um. There were ups, and there were downs. I spent a lot of the week being annoyed at myself, tired, stressed, freaking out, etc. etc. etc.. But Thursday or Friday, things got better. I (kind of) stopped avoiding the things that I didn't want to do, and got some necessary things done, which was great. And I still feel good, and productive, and happy about that, because I have a whole ton of things due in the next three(ish) weeks. I could just say that the next four and a half weeks are crazy, and it would be true. I have so much to do. But I'm not really stressing about it anymore. Or at least, I'm not stressed right now.
God stuff right now. I'm definitely in the pull-back portion of my relationship with Him right now. And it is intensely frustrating, but I have recognized this pattern in almost every relationship I have ever had, so it is something that is a part of who I am. It's a protective mechanism, I do know that. And maybe it's healthy? I don't know. I just. It's frustrating when the thing that it seems God was leading me to do falls through. And I'm probably hurt and angry, etc. and that's probably why I don't want to trust Him right now. I honestly don't really even know where I'm at right now. Trying to trust, I guess. Adjusting to the new normal of my life. I really do need periods where I adjust to things before trying to intentionally change/grow some more.
I don't have much for you this weekend, I guess.
God stuff right now. I'm definitely in the pull-back portion of my relationship with Him right now. And it is intensely frustrating, but I have recognized this pattern in almost every relationship I have ever had, so it is something that is a part of who I am. It's a protective mechanism, I do know that. And maybe it's healthy? I don't know. I just. It's frustrating when the thing that it seems God was leading me to do falls through. And I'm probably hurt and angry, etc. and that's probably why I don't want to trust Him right now. I honestly don't really even know where I'm at right now. Trying to trust, I guess. Adjusting to the new normal of my life. I really do need periods where I adjust to things before trying to intentionally change/grow some more.
I don't have much for you this weekend, I guess.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)