Another post brought to you by homework

Trying to do homework... It's not going super well.  I have to write two papers by tomorrow.  But I don't know how to structure either one of them.  So that's frustrating.  And I don't want to do it, so I'm trying to come up with some incentive to entice me to work hard.  But I can't think of anything.  Bah!  I don't particularly like writing papers, but I guess I am kind of good at it.  Given the number of them I have had to write in my academic life, I definitely should be by now.  And now I'm just rambling about whatever because I don't want to write these papers or study for these tests or do these readings.  Yay! Fun times that aren't actually very fun!  Whatever.  I'm going back into the fray.

Too much homework

It is so easy to fall into the trap of living in my own insular little world, forgetting that there is more there if I would just reach out and offer my hand.  But I'm afraid that I'm never going to remember this on a daily basis, and I'm afraid that I'm never going to measure up, not to other people and their achievements, but to myself.  And I'm afraid that I'm never going to be okay with depending on other people and asking them for things that I need.  I'm afraid that I'm never going to find a job or a career that will make me feel fulfilled, that I'm never going to love what I will spend my life doing.  I'm afraid that the people that I love don't love me back the way I love them, and I'm afraid that so much of the time I am unable to articulate how I feel about others.  I'm afraid that I fall into bad habits too easily, and fall out of good ones too easily as well.  And I'm really tired of being afraid.

It's only 2:15

And it's already been one of those days...

(via)
Nine hours to go. *Whimper*

I'm going to go wrap myself up in my beautiful homemade quilt, listen to TSwift, and sleep until my next class.

Tonight is a night for listening to chill/sad songs and drinking tea.  Though, let us be honest.  There are very few nights where tea is not a welcome addition.  I'm not even sad, I just want to listen to sad songs.  I suppose it's because school starts tomorrow, and so tonight is the last night of summer, although I said goodbye to summer a week (six days) ago.  Goodbye summer.  You were a good one.  Actually, no.  You weren't just good - you were a pretty perfect four months.  I will miss you, but I'm excited for the future, for this fall and beyond.  And so tonight is bittersweet, but more sweet than bitter.