Hello!

It is the last day of NaBloPoMo, and the only one I've actually come close to missing.  That's not true.  I posted at least one after midnight.  But anyway.  I don't have much to say right now.  The week is going by fast, and I have a lot of things I should do before next Tuesday.  So that's all fantastic and greatness.  But whatevs.  I'll get everything done that I need to get done, and things will be fine.  So I'm either going to go do homework or go to sleep now.  Yeah.

The real first snow of the season

I have so many words inside of me, struggling to get out, but I am unsure of how to let them.  Sometimes I am filled with the urge to record everything, every thought and word and feeling.  Other times, I feel that life is better lived than written down, that to record what is happening diminishes it.  I guess I just want to talk to someone, anyone, tell them all about everything that is in my head right now.  But I am tired and alone in my room, and so will probably just go to sleep soon.

See you in a few minutes, ol' buddy.

First Day back

And it's been a good day.  Things felt purposeful, in a weird but good way.  Alyssa and I continued on our quest to turn our room into a winter wonderland/homage to the holiday season (I will probs show you pictures sometime soon.  But we all know how often I keep promises like that).  Suffice to say, it is amazing, and everyone on our hall is duly impressed.  I also did some studying that I really needed to do, so yay for that :)

I've only been back in Ann Arbor for five and a half hours, and I already miss Kalamazoo.  I miss my bed and my room.  I miss my dad and my doggy.  I miss all of my friends.  Sometimes I really wish I didn't go to school so far away.

Sleepover times with Emily, Gwen, and Kiersten

We have:
flipped out over movie soundtracks
almost burned something on the stove
laughed our heads off
taken an hour to eat food
and are now trading music.
Good times.

These are some of my favorite people in the whole world :)

On another note,

I feel like it's become a thing with me to be all lalalalala fun things, it's not all that late, I'm not tired, lalalala-I'm exhausted-zzzzzzzz.

On coffee shops and christmas lights

Today I saw three people I knew at Fourth Coast.  Well, four really.  But one of them I only knew by sight and couldn't remember her name.  Oh, I just remembered who she is.  So four.  One of them was the barista, who I went to Norrix with and I'm pretty sure he had no remembrance/recognition of me.  So that was interesting.  Last time I had seen him, a few years ago, he was a skinny skater boy.  But he grew up, as we all have, and isn't as skinny as he was, and looked a bit different, but I still recognized him.  I ran into my friend Mack who was having coffee with the girl who I had forgotten and then remembered.  And then a kid I went to school with freshman year came in, and he recognized me, but I pretended that I hadn't seen/recognized him because I didn't feel like having an awkward conversation with him.  So that was fun. And then for the tree lighting ceremony, the trees were already lit up, due to gremlins or some other such nonsense.  But I had fun, as did the Omans.  Oh what an interesting day.

Oh right. Ze blogging

Umm, well, I guess today is a day for saying Thanks and stuff.  I suppose I could tell you all of the things that I'm thankful for. But that could take a while, and I'm actually pretty exhausted right now.  Like I'm going to go to sleep way earlier than I have in weeks.  But anyway, thanks for reading my blog.  It really means a lot to me that people check out what I have to say.  And you're all amazing :)  Goodnight.  Maybe I'll write a more Thanksgivingy post tomorrow.  idk

Today I

Ran errands
Did homework
Read books
Knitted
Watched Doctor Who
and
Worked on my Ultimate Accomplishments of Awesome list, 2012 edition.

All in all, it has been a good day.


Also, did you know that Octopuses are awesome?

Home!

Lalalalalalalala
Home is the best.

Damn you Youtube and your ability to make me spend money and time!  Oh well.  I guess I'm okay with the amusement and joy I get from the things I spend money and time on.

I just spent $40 on a limited edition audiobook for a book that hasn't come out yet.  But it's limited edition!  And it comes with cool stuff!  Yeah...

Only four and a half hours of class stand between me and Thanksgiving Break

I'm trying to write a paper.  But it's not working out very well.  :(  Maybe I should just give it up for a while  until it gets dark.  Cause I always work better when it's dark outside.  Yeah.

Today is a day to savor words

To feel the roundness in the word round,
and the sharp exoticness of the word exotic
and the heights in the word exquisite.

Sometimes, missing you almost physically hurts.

Good days need no explanation.

A Reflective Sestina

This is a poem that I wrote for one of my classes.  It's a sestina, and I'm posting it here because Alyssa wanted to read it :)  It has no title yet, and this is just the rough draft.  So it may be a little different in a week.  But yeah.

They say the way to creativity

is through questions

and the quick play

of the mind - innovation

in search of truth -

as the Buddha

did, and was.  He, the Buddha,

was vastly creative

but claimed an universal and cyclical truth

in order to push away the questions

of the religious types who reacted negatively to innovation

and "play".

This play-

fullness and the desire for the new that Buddha

had is in other innovators

in their creative

pursuits, as they question

this world in search of the truth.

But what is this truth

that comes through play?

Or in the question

of the Buddha?

Or in the creativity

of the innovator?

The innovator

uses the truth

he knows to create,

build upon the work of others and to play

with it - the truth, I mean - like Buddha

as he questioned

his life.  But what is the question

of the innovator,

of Buddha?

Perhaps, what is true and what is truth?

This is what a playful

person is seeking in the act of creation.

Buddha knew it when he was questioned

by those who opposed his creativity and innovation,

those who would see the truth divorced from play.

Another poem from class

This one doesn't have a title yet.  Cause I just wrote it thirty minutes ago.  But it's a sestina, cause I enjoy writing those.  Anyway, here you go.

They say the way to creativity

is through questions

and the quick play

of the mind - innovation

in search of truth -

as the Buddha

did, and was.  He, the Buddha,

was vastly creative

but claimed an universal and cyclical truth

in order to push away the questions

of the religious types who reacted negatively to innovation

and "play".

This play-

fullness and the desire for the new that Buddha

had is in other innovators

in their creative

pursuits, as they question

this world in search of the truth.

But what is this truth

that comes through play?

Or in the question

of the Buddha?

Or in the creativity

of the innovator?

The innovator

uses the truth

he knows to create,

build upon the work of others and to play

with it - the truth, I mean - like Buddha

as he questioned

his life.  But what is the question

of the innovator,

of Buddha?

Perhaps, what is true and what is truth?

This is what a playful

person is seeking in the act of creation.

Buddha knew it when he was questioned

by those who opposed his creativity and innovation,

those who would see the truth divorced from play.

The sixteenth

I spent a lovely afternoon with my mom today.  It was really, really nice.  I'm currently half in a food coma.  I would like to be asleep, but I have class in twenty five minutes, so I can't sleep.  Oh well.  After class.  Also I need to study for my test tomorrow.  Yeah.

I think I'm getting sick :(

Today's post comes to you courtesy of Youtube

Apparently today is Hannah finds fun things on youtube day.  So I'm going to tell you about all of the fun videos I watched today.

Firstly, is Cullen.  Emily and I have internet crushes on him because he's funny and crazy and just fantastic.  He just made a song.  About Hedwig.  So go watch it :)

Secondly, is Marcel the Shell.  I can't describe Marcel the shell, it's something that just has to be experienced.  A brand new video just came out yesterday, and I discovered it today.  So you should go watch it.  If you haven't seen the first one, go watch it as well.

And then is the one that I'm a little embarrassed about.  Not that I like it, but that it's been in my sub box for a week or so and I didn't watch it, then saw something about it on Yahoo, because it went viral.  So then I went through my sub box and found it and it was amazing.  This musician, Kina Grannis, made a music video with jelly beans for the background.  And it's pretty incredible.

It is late.  And I am tired.  And there are all of these thoughts that are percolating in my head right now.  About school and God and stories and you and everyone I've ever known.  I've been thinking about forgiveness, and love, and how to love someone even when you don't want to forgive them.  And about loving someone and missing them like crazy.  About wishes, and reality, and how I wish things could be and how they are.  I've been thinking about the future, and my major, and next summer, and how I have options, but lack a definite idea of what options I will take.

And I guess all of this boiled down means that I love you a lot.  And I miss you a lot.

I'm glad I'm coming home in week or so.

Such Shenanigans

So much shenanigans occurring.  At one point I was rolling around the floor howling with laughter.  Literally howling.  Ria and Alyssa and Doctor Who and 500 miles.  Oh my word.

I understand.  Words fail to communicate just how deeply I understand.  I am pretty busy over here, in college, with all of my work and my projects and everything.  And even though we don't communicate as often as I would wish, I still love you a whole lot.  When you're doing poorly, my happiness has a tinge of sadness.  When you're happy, my spirits are lighter.  And I miss you too. Some days I am so busy that I don't have time for myself and I don't have time to miss you.  But today, I missed you so much.  I wished I was in Kalamazoo with you.  And I didn't even really want to talk.  I just wanted to hang out with you, spend time together, to just exist in the same general space.

A night of song

I just got back from the Michigan Men's Glee Club concert.  And it was super great.  They're so good.  I always forget that I'm surrounded by so much culture and arts here at college, all of this stuff that I have access to for cheep.  This is an opportunity that I won't really have again.  So I might as well make the most of it.

I wish....

Make a wish

I always have trouble wishing.  On dandelions, eyelashes, birthday candles, and 11:11.  I think my problem is that I feel like wishes are almost frivolous or for "luxury items."  If there is something that I really want, I'll pray about it with God with the understanding that the thing I want may actually be something poorer than the thing he wants/plans to give me.  And so when I get a wish from a shooting star, I don't know what to wish for.  I did make a wish this morning at 11:11 on 11/11/11, but I'll never tell what it was, because that negates it.  But it took a lot of thought to decide on the proper wish for such a momentous occasion.  And I get another chance in five hours.  Yay!

Singing my snow song

It goes like this:
Snow Snow Snow
Snow Snow Snow
Snow Snow Snow
Snow Snow Snow
Snow
Snow
Snow


I also just read the plot summary of the last Eragon book on Wikipedia.  And I have to say that I'm not completely impressed.  I mean, I wasn't already, as I have only read the first two books and then stopped caring that much, but still.  Really Paolini, Really?  Anyway, that's not important.  What's important is that it's
                     S                O                      I                     G
                             N                    W                   N                     !

What a Windsday

I just finished reading The Phantom Tollbooth.  It was quite entertaining, and I'm glad that it was on my Ultimate Accomplishments of Awesome, because I probably would never have read it otherwise.  In other news, today was very cold, and windy, and the beginning was very wet.  I was not very happy about that, not at all.  I almost can't tell if today was a good or a bad day.  It just kind of was.  I think I'm okay with this.  I'm also tired, and ready to go to sleep.  So I'm going to go do that.

I don't really know what I want to tell you guys today.  It's been an interesting day.  And I haven't gotten very much done at all, even though I really should have.  And now I'm feeling a little lonely, and like I need to talk to someone, anyone, and I could go study with my friends, but for some reason I don't want to go do that.  It's just one of those days.  And now dark comes so much earlier.  And my room becomes so much more claustrophobic.




EXCEPT THAT I JUST CHECKED YOUTUBE, AND A NEW DEATHSPANK CAME UP!  MY DAY HAS JUST TURNED AROUND!  MKAYBAI

I feel like shit right now.  And I mean that quite literally.  Why can't I just crawl into a hole and rock back and forth in the fetal position for several days?


When I have kids, they better be pretty damn remarkable to justify all the suffering I've gone through and will continue to go through for many years of my life.

Efficiency is not the path to creativity.

Efficiency is not the path to creativity.

Wandering, exploring,

The intersection of opportunities,

The intersection of narrative

and abstraction

is creation.

Efficiency is not the path to creativity.

The seduction of ideas

The tempting of ill-advisement

Play off of your weakness and

Explore what you can't do well.

You will fail

and learn

and create.

Thomas Edison tried many filaments for the light bulb

before settling on carbonized bamboo as the best.

He worked with others,

collaborated

and created

in community.

The blind man says

"I do not need to see"

refusing to let others

help him create

useful things

in their collaboration.

He is worse than a fool,

only interested in

efficiency,

when any fool knows that

efficiency is not the path to creativity.

Today was relaxing

I didn't do much today.  Just took quiet day, rested, recharged for the rest of the week.  I didn't do much homework, but I'm okay with that.  I need to finish my reflection for my Creativity class, and then I'm basically ready for tomorrow.  Oh yeah, and I need to work on my NaNoWriMo novel for the day.  I should do that.

I can't sleep

I miss you a whole lot right now.  And I just want to talk to you, but it's late, and even though you are still online, you probably should be asleep.  As should I.  But I'm thinking that I am actually a bit of an insomniac.  Because I freaking can't sleep, and have been having trouble sleeping for a couple weeks.

I feel blagh

Is it pretty bad that I can't tell if I'm getting sick, or just have allergies, or just need more sleep?  Or maybe our room needs a humidifier.  Or maybe I just feel crappy today.  I can't tell what the problem is.

SUCH AN EPIC EVENING!

More on NaNoWriMo and Beauty's Story

I'm really enjoying writing my Beauty and the Beast retelling.  It's nice retelling a story, because I have all of these major plot points already mapped out for me, and I just have make sure to get all of them.  At the same time, I am free to add little twists, new pieces to the plot, new characters, even new settings.  The danger, of course, is that I will borrow too much from someone else's work.  And I am on my guard against that, because I have read a lot of retellings of this particular fairy tale.  But the addition of new characters, of an aunt, and a much younger sister, is changing the fabric of the story.  It's like I can see the story all mapped out, the normal progression of events and this person does this at this time and this person does this at that time, and by adding new characters, all of it changes subtly.  I can do new things, and things that I have seen other authors do are not possible for me anymore.  The original map is a little obscured, because I honestly don't know what the final affect of adding a little sister is going to be, but I know it is going to be different.  And I'm excited to see the final product.

My relationship with Newspapers

I occasionally grab a copy of the Michigan Daily (UM's daily newspaper) when I'm walking through the lobby of my dorm.  I'll leaf through it, read a couple articles, then throw it on a shelf where they accumulate until my roommate decides to make paper mache and needs newspaper.  Today I grabbed a copy as I headed into the dining hall, and sat and read it as I ate lunch.  There was an article about the city tearing down some houses in a neighborhood I really like, and a short piece on Bollywood cinema.  There was an opinion article on the racism and sexism of Halloween, and one about woman and population growth and the 7 billion mark we've recently passed.  And I sat in the dining hall, absently eating my soup and sandwich, reading these articles, and I started thinking about newspapers and my life.

My oldest brother was a paper boy for many years, rushing home from school every weekday to bag up the papers and jump on his bike.  He would rise early on Saturdays and Sundays to go about his route, and in the winter, everything was miserable and the ice and snow caused bicycle crashes.  So we always had newspapers around, and I would sometimes help bag all of the papers, counting them to make sure we had the correct amount.  In their plastic bags to protect from rain, they would slide against each other in the large canvas bag, especially as you got down to the last ten houses or so.  If you used one canvas bag you had to balance on your bike carefully, and if you used two, you had to take papers out evenly.  The shoulder straps would dig into your shoulders, and if it was early on a Saturday morning in the winter, you just plain miserable.  So that was newspaper delivery

But I got into the habit of reading the paper from when I was ten or so.  At first it was just the comics, and maybe an interesting article or two.  But eventually I would read most of the paper, excluding the sports section.  Sometimes not all at the same time; I would go through and read everything that interested me first, and then when I was sitting on the couch, bored later, I would pick it up and read the articles that weren't so interesting.  The paper was always on the couch, and so occasionally I would read it as I talked on the phone with others (especially Gwen.  There would be times when I read the paper and she watched TV and we wouldn't say anything for several moments, before remembering we were on the phone with each other.)

Sundays before church I would rifle through the paper, scattering the ads all over the living room floor in the process, searching for the comics and the Parade section.  I would read the comics as I got ready for church, and then after church in the golden silence of Sunday afternoon naps, I would open the Parade and read celebrity interviews, cooking recipes, a few comics, ask Marilyn, and inevitably, an inspirational piece.  For some reason, I almost always found myself wanting to cry as I read those pieces.  And occasionally, other times when I was reading other parts of the paper, I would almost start to tear up.  It must be a strange thing about print media.

And so today I found myself, at 12:10 in the dining hall of my dorm, reading the paper and wanting to cry.

Beauty's Story

Go check out my NaNoWriMo work in progress!

IT'S NOVEMBER!!!

And you know what that means? NaNoWriMo! and NaBloPoMo! and No-Shave November!  Wait, what?  Haha, I'm not participating in No-Shave November (though my RA is having a contest for sweetest facial, leg hair, etc at the end of the month), but I am going to try to blog every day in November.  AND I am going to try to participate in NaNoWriMo as well!  Crazy, huh?  I only decided today, and I've written 804 words already.  I'm writing a retelling of Beauty and the Beast, and it's set in a kind of Howl's Moving Castle/Hayao Miyazaki kind of world, you know, technology and magic together.  I'm kind of excited about it.  I haven't tried to write a story in three or four years, so it'll be interesting to see how much my writing has matured now that I'm older.  I don't know if my Beauty and the Beast story has 50,000 words in it, but if it doesn't, I might revisit my Cinderella retelling.




Also, I have an orgo exam in an hour and a half.  But that is unimportant.