Of Prayer and Redemption

Wow.  It's already been a week.  Crazyness.  It's been a full week, with class and my long(ish) list of Things To Do This (And Every) Week.  And overall, it's been a good week.  I've been happy.  Which, if you didn't know, is something that I was for a very long constant period growing up, even if sometimes I was very lonely and sad, I was primarily happy for 18 years of my life.  And then I went to college, and things were hard, and for the past two and a half years, my primary emotion has probably been fear and confusion and stress.  Which has not been very fun, not at all.  But I've been consistently happy for a month or so now.  Which is so very nice.

I've been doing my Bible reading consistently (Woo!), and got something pretty rich out of it this week.  I was going through Leviticus and Numbers and Deuteronomy and in one of them God kept giving all of these rules about the redemption of clean and unclean animals, the redemption of land, and redemption of people.  And I was just struck with a deeper/new understanding of just what Jesus did for us.  People, when they went into debt, would sometimes sell themselves and become like, indentured servants.  They (or their kinsman-redeemer) could redeem themselves by paying their master the money that they sold themselves for.  And like, Jesus is our redeemer.  He pays for the debts we have incurred and cannot pay, because we don't have the currency.  And the firstborn of every clean animal either had to be redeemed by paying a certain sum or by substituting a different kind of animal for sacrifice, or it had to be sacrificed to God, because they were his by right, because he killed all the of the firstborns of Egypt, but spared those of Israel.  And Jesus kind of redeemed us in that way as well, because he shed his blood for us, and so redeemed our lives, setting us apart.  I don't know if that all makes sense, or even if it's all factually accurate (I don't really want to go back and check as it's a little tedious.) but it's just been impacting me more and more how much Jesus has done for us.  Like woah.

Now, prayer.  So we're currently in the 40 days of Prayer that PrayUM does every year leading up to the International Day of Prayer (I think that's what it is).  And on Friday was the kickoff, which was great.  So much of His presence and Spirit was in the church, and I had a really great prayer session with a complete stranger.  And then Ria and I went and opened the Prayer Room.  I'm planning on spending a decent chunk of time there over the next 38 days, praying, worshipping, journalling, and soaking.  I'm also planning on doing at least one 24 hour session in early February.  I was in there yesterday, and it was good to just spend time with God, moving around the room and praying out loud for whatever came into my head.  It's just... I want to know Him more.  I want to want him more.  I long for greater Longing.  Because I'm gaining a deeper and deeper understanding of how much I need him, and how he is everything I need, and is actually everything that fulfills my deepest desires.  My deepest desires match up with who He is.  Which is really easy to say and really hard to internalize and know.  But as I am understanding it, it's blowing my mind.