God is good

All the time.

***

So recently (I mean in the past three, four weeks), God has been moving in my life.  It hasn't been flashy, or happening in brief intense moments.  No, it's been a slow, gradual, deep current in my life, and all the more powerful for it.  A man's heart is deep waters and all that.  What God has been teaching me, and doing in my life, has been about trust.  Trusting him for my value and worth.  Trusting him that his plan for my life is going to be better than anything that I might pick for myself.  Trusting him that he knows best, and that he can give me strength and courage when I am too afraid to move on my own.  And I've been trusting him with all those things that I've constantly given lip-service to giving to him, but never actually done in my heart.  School is important, but in the end, it's God who has given me my mind and my talent for learning things, and I can trust that if I focus on him, my schoolwork will not suffer irreparably, and if it does, then God will open up another door.  Also, my friendships.  It's God's place to give love and value and worth to my friends, not mine.  That doesn't mean that I can't be used as an agent, that God doesn't show others his love through me, but it does mean that I don't need to convince them that I love them and they have worth.  And all of this makes me feel so free.  I know, so deeply, that God is there.  He's right here next to me, waiting to catch me when I stumble, holding out his hand to lead me so I won't stumble.  And I trust him.  So I am free to skip in public if I am filled with joy, or climb a tree even though I am almost no longer a teenager.  I am free to sing loudly, even if my voice is not the best, and I am free to risk, because I know that even if I fail, I will never fall.