Follow up to Personality Tests

Okay, so this is going to be a follow-up to my last blog post. Thank you Kiersten and Emily for replying. It made me feel good. I do want to clarify a few things. I don't normally feel unappreciated or undervalued, but for some reason I've just been emotional for a week and a half. When I'm emotional, sometimes my head knows things that my heart doesn't believe. And when I'm at college, away from all of you, I sometimes just need reassuring that you love me and are there for me. (Wow, it's really hard for me to articulate my own needs. Maybe I should work on that. I think maybe I just assume that people will understand what I need. Or maybe that they'll look at what I do for them, and reciprocate. Hmm...)

To Emily: You didn't give me the wrong idea in your post. This post has nothing to do with your post. I wasn't even thinking about your post when I was contemplating writing this. I know our friendship can survive even when I'm a hundred miles away. And I knew that I haven't abandoned you, and that even if you did feel like it one time when you were lonely and sad, it was just a passing thought. You're my bestest friend. How could I abandon you? I have invested time into our friendship because it's important to me.

And Kiersten: Even if you don't have an official title like Bestest Friend, or BFF, or Best Friend, you are one of my best friends. You're just Kiersten, and I can't think of a name or title better suited to you than that. I love you lots and lots, and I try to invest time and effort into our friendship, especially because I'm in a different city. Which is one of the reasons I'm always trying to comment on your posts, because that way, we're using these blogs to communicate and converse (I wanted to say conversate, but apparently that's not a word) and that strengthens our friendship.

I try to comment on Emily's and Gwen's and Kiersten's blog posts every day, because I know how good it feels to know that someone took the time and effort to sit down and respond to what I had to say, even if it's a couple sentences. So I made this rule for myself that I'm not allowed to read your NaBloPoMo posts unless I have the time and energy to write a response directly after reading. That way, I comment every day, because I want to read every day. And this past month I've been taking the time every day to blog and comment, which has been really good. I feel like our friendships have been getting stronger this month. Or maybe it was just that we were still spending time and energy to connect, even though I'm a hundred miles from Kiersten and Emily, and Gwen is in a completely different state.

Actually, I try to invest time and effort into any friendship that I really super value, which is basically youth group people. I really value my friendship with Emily, Kiersten, Abby, Aaron, Gwen, Megan, Ava, Brenna, and Monica. There are others, but I don't have such a strong bond with them, or we're just starting to form a strong bond, or I don't have to take time out of my day to devote energy to them, because I live with them (Maggie).

Because of this connecting and keeping friendships strong thing that has happened over the past month, I'm going to try to continue to post every day. And I know that there will be days where I don't post, but I'll keep trying. And I know that my journal will suffer because of it, but I'm kind of okay with that. I don't feel like I'm in a journaling season, and as long as there is some record of my life, written by me, I'm okay.