Sorry guys, this post is going to be a little heavier than usual.
Dictionary.com defines Beauty as:
1. The quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind, whether arising from sensory manifestations (as shape, color, sound, etc.), a meaningful design or pattern, or something else (as a personality in which high spiritual qualities are manifest).
2. A beautiful person, esp. a woman.
3. A beautiful thing, as a work of art or a building.
4. Often, beauties. something that is beautiful in nature or in some natural or artificial environment.
5. An individually pleasing or beautiful quality; grace; charm: a vivid blue area that is the one real beauty of the painting.
6. Informal . a particular advantage: One of the beauties of this medicine is the freedom from aftereffects.
7. (usually used ironically) something extraordinary: My sunburn was a real beauty.
8. Something excellent of its kind: My old car was a beauty.
Dictionary definitions don't cut it for me, though. What is true beauty? What does it mean to be beautiful? Beauty is only skin deep. A thing of Beauty is a joy forever. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Are these things true? Does beauty, true beauty, only reside on the surface of things? Is beauty a state of being that only affects how a thing looks? Does something beautiful give joy and happiness forever? Is beauty in the eye of the beholder? So no one can consider themselves to be beautiful? No one can look in the mirror and say "I'm beautiful today?" Or does that count, because you are the beholder?
I would say that I'm 99% unaffected by the media's presentation of beauty. By the perception that the anorexic models that grace the covers of supermarket tabloids are the real definition of beauty. I was raised in a home that was largely unaffected by the media, beyond radio shows. I didn't watch TV regularly, didn't read the newspaper, and thought that supermarket magazines were stupid. I was brought up in a caring christian home, surrounded by people who loved me. And yet, I occasionally find myself looking in the mirror wishing I was thinner or prettier. Every time this happens, I am shocked with myself. I am 18 years old, 115 pounds, 5'5". I am thin, I have a really fast metabolism, and there is nothing wrong with me. While I don't consider myself beautiful in the sense of having perfectly proportioned facial features, I occasionally look at myself and realize that I'm pretty that day. I have a good sense of color, and while some might think that I mix too many colors, I do know what looks good on me. Red is a fantastic color on me, followed by blue, brown, and pink. Green is okay, as is grey, orange, yellow, black, and white. However, any of those colors can be mixed and make a fantastic outfit. I don't wear makeup, for several reasons. My mother doesn't wear makeup, and so she never taught me about makeup, or made any rules about it. I was interested in makeup in middle school, then stopped caring so much in high school. All of my friends weren't interested/couldn't wear makeup until after I was over it. I occasionally wish I wore makeup, so I could be "more beautiful". Then I realize that I'm just parroting our society's view on things, and am a little appalled with myself. I am beautiful without makeup, and if I need facepaint to make someone notice me, then they are not worth it. Truth is, I don't even know what I would look like with makeup on.
I find that I care more how I look now that I'm at college. I'm surrounded by people who judge me all the time. And while I know that the people who care don't matter and the people who matter don't care, it's hard sometimes to remember that. I find myself worrying about becoming fat, about being judged, about looking frumpy and odd. It seems like everyone here in Ann Arbor cares about how they look, all the time.
Why is it I can find beauty in all of my friends, but struggle to see it in myself?
Yay! You quoted Endymion! (I love that poem.)
ReplyDeleteI imagine that probably every girl struggles with this (yah, yah, generic response, but it's weird to really sit down and consider). I struggle with it every day. I grew up in a similar environment to yours, yet from time to time I worry that I'm not thin enough, that I'm freakishly pale, that my hair is a wreck of a lost cause, that my face looks boyish or boring because I don't really wear makeup. We're kind of programmed by culture to see all the attractiveness in everyone else and the flaws in ourselves. But what's the real thing? I think you're amazing. When i first met you I thought you were pretty (and your hair is the most fantastic hair I've ever seen up-close), and I still do, and I've heard others say you are.
And you can never, ever mix too many colors. Fact of existence.
Hey, whoa, guess what, I struggle with this too. Crazy coincidence, no? So often I find myself looking in the mirror and thinking, "I should work out more," "I'm so PALE," "I wish this shirt could be more fitted," "Please, acne, die," "I think I have the potential to be pretty," "My face is kind of pretty," "This make-up makes me look nice," "You know, I feel good about the way I look," "I can't stand looking at myself anymore," all in the same minute.
ReplyDeleteI wear makeup because I enjoy the actual putting it on part, as well as the wearing it. I like the way it can make me look, but I'm not too invested in it. If I don't want to wear it, I don't. I usually do wear it, though. I like experimenting with it and seeing the effects it has on appearance. It's fun for me.
I usually don't invest a lot of time in my appearance. But I do like looking good. I like wearing dresses, getting gussied up, wearing heels (though I hardly wear heels), because it makes me feel good about myself.
Sometimes I do think I get too invested in body image. I hate it when I catch myself thinking that someone won't like me as much if I don't look pretty. That's not even the way I feel, it's just one of those natural animalistic thoughts.
"True beauty" isn't tangible, not for me. Smooth skin, big eyes, a chiseled figure, ultimately all they do is represent a human mind. A "beautiful," or rather, well-groomed person is attractive because they show through their body that they have an attractive personality, they're confident, and that's a huge factor of what makes them "beautiful."
For me personally, beauty is stringing together thoughts of love and innocence and putting them to rhyme. Sitting down at a piano and playing from the heart, not just the fingers. It is sitting close to someone in silence and friendship by a fire at night. It is singing genuine worship. It is smiling because you're too happy not to. It is showing the complexities of the brain hand-in-hand with the poetry of the mind.
That's what I find attractive in people. More and more, I'm finding that I'm less and less attracted to guys with great eyes or a nicely arranged body. I fall for brains and jokes and thoughts.
...That said, I can still appreciate when a guy takes time to make himself look good. Because guys can look REALLY good. ;]
And I think the exact same can be said for girls.
I LOVE YOU, BYE.
PS I'm sorry for using so many words, my tongue needs to go on a diet D=
ReplyDelete